Thursday, October 28, 2010
A very hard thought
Sometimes StumbleUpon is not your friend. Days like today, for example. One of my interests for SU is parenting. This takes me to many mom (and dad!) blogs. Most of which I'm glad to browse. Others are hard. Those were the ones I was shown today. Two separate blogs chronicling the too-short lives of their babies. One of them was a few months shy of 18 months when she passed away October 11. The day Munchkin turned 13 months old, this precious child lost her life. It was something they had known was a possibility from the day she was born, yet their pictures show that they didn't waste that time. They didn't wallow in self-pity. They are an amazing family--and I just read a few posts! Of course this makes me think the hardest thought a mother could think--what if I lost MY baby? It physically hurts to even think about it. I cannot imagine living it. To lose a baby that you have held and loved for any time would be the most difficult thing to ever do. A miscarriage is a different pain, but it is pain. For me it was thoughts of "what would the baby have looked like?" "who would it take after?" (Since we had no clue as to the gender of that lost baby, we say "it" with much love--it is very much not just an "it") things along those lines...not the same. I know that parents who lose a baby to miscarriage or stillbirth love their children deeply. I am not saying that a baby who has lived in this world and dies is "better" or more missed than a baby who was lost in pregnancy. Having lived through that miscarriage, for me, it's a known quantity. I know how I handled it and I know how I would handle it again if faced with that situation...but the thought of losing Munchkin is an unknown--and I would like to keep it that way--therefore it is infinitely more scary. The families that have taken their situations to the world via blogs are incredibly brave. They're laying out some of the most intimate feelings a person can have, showing their vulnerability throughout their experiences of losing their child just so that everyone can know more about whatever condition caused that pain. They are brave and strong. They are an inspiration. For those families who are dealing with this, I wish them peace and comfort.